Love's Funny Sometimes

Newsletter -- July 2011

2011-07-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

TEMPTRESS IN TRAINING has hit the shelves! I'm so excited to finally give Sophie Darshaw her happily ever after. And have you seen the beautiful cover? Sophie and Lindley are pretty special to me, and I hope readers love their story. Can I tempt you a bit?

Sophie Darshaw has earned her keep in Madame Eudora's brothel by sewing unique and intimate articles for Madame's particular clients. But Sophie dreams of a better life and embarks on a scheme to make herself respectable. She ends up privy to a murder plot and in possession of a mysterious locket that may hold the key to her father’s life—or death.

Lord Lindley lost his family when a plot by some Napoleon sympathizers went awry. It has been his life’s goal ever since to bring these men to justice. He’s been stalking one man in particular—Philip Darshaw. Lindley's determined to learn just how much of her father’s criminal past Sophie has been involved in. He'll stop at nothing to get what he wants from the secretive seamstress. Sophie's creative stitchery, however, might just unravel his plans.

And yet another Happily Ever After!
Several, actually. I'm honored to have a short story in a really fun anthology put together by Fiction Flurry, a group of writers from my own hometown. It's called Tales of Summer Romance and it's full of short little stories about--you guessed it--summer romance. It's available at Smashwords and a portion of the proceeds will go to a community-based charity. Here's the link if you'd like to check it out: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/69671

What's next?
PASSION AND PRETENSE will be my next release, scheduled for April, 2011. It follows the story of Lord Rastmoor's little sister, Penelope. She's grown up a bit, but still the same unconventional mischief-maker we came to love in DAMSEL IN DISGUISE. Originally this book was to be called PARAMOUR BY PRETENSE, but the marketing department asked me to come up with something a little sexier, so I did.

MISTRESS and DAMSEL are still out there making appearances at local booksellers. If you've missed MISTRESS BY MISTAKE or DAMSEL IN DISGUISE, check with your local bookstore, library, or look for them online at Amazon.com and the usual places.

RWA National Conference
I've been making some appearances, too! I just got back from the Romance Writers of America national conference where I participated in the annual booksigning to benefit literacy. Also, my publisher held a free booksigning open only to conference attendees. What a blast to sign books and give them out for free!

This year's conference was in exciting New York City. Wow, this was my first time in the Big Apple and I loved it! That place really doesn't sleep--and I don't think I did, either. But I came back all full of plans and ideas for what to write next so I'm raring to go. Even with all the changes in the industry, my agent and editor were very upbeat and excited.

While there, I was privileged to be a part of two Author Workshop Panels. With authors Courtney Milan, Kris Kennedy, Susan Sey and Tiffany Clare we discussed The Seven Deadly Sins of the First Book. Great insights for new authors! With Kit Wilkinson, Lynette Eason, and Christie Craig, we discussed Riding the Contest Wave; how to make writing contests work for you. Good stuff!

Upcoming Events
In August I'll be making several appearances here in Ohio. I'd love to see you if you can drop by!

Wednesday, Aug. 3, 12:00 - 3:00 pm
Guest Speaker, Cambridge Writers Group
Crossroads Library
63500 Byesville Road
Cambridge, OH

Saturday, Aug. 13, 2:00 - 4:00 pm
Booksigning (with author Donna MacMeans)
Barnes & Noble, Easton Town Center
4005 Townsfair Way
Columbus, OH 43219

Saturday, Aug. 20, 11:30 am - 1:00 pm
"World Building for Writers" Author Panel
Buckeye Library
6625 Wolff Road
Medina, OH 44256

Teasing you with my Temptress!

2011-06-15T21:50:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how quickly June is zooming by! In less than three weeks my next book, TEMPTRESS IN TRAINING, will hit the shelves. Woo hoo! I'm so excited to introduce Sophie Darshaw to readers. At last!

Sophie is the poor, long lost cousin we heard about but never met in MISTRESS BY MISTAKE. In the opening chapters of DAMSEL IN DISGUISE she makes a brief appearance, but then mysteriously disappears. Finally now we can find out what the gal has been up to. And who she's been up to it with!

To tease you just a bit, here's a little excerpt:

“Lord Lindley, please,” she began, moving toward him, then stopping just out of arms reach. “You cannot take him. Not now.”
“You don’t know what he’s done, Miss Darshaw.”
“But I know what will happen if he does not see a doctor right away.”
“He’s wounded; nothing more. He’ll survive.”
“But the blood . . . please, have some compassion.”
She was so earnest it was all he could do to deny her. Her helpless, desperate eyes searched his. His resolve returned, however, as soon as he recalled another pair of helpless, desperate eyes that had begged him for rescue. Rescue he could not give. Those eyes had shut and never opened again and Lindley had finally caught the man responsible for it. Damn it, but Lindley couldn’t let himself be weak now. Four souls left in the cold ground of his family plot needed justice. They would get it.
“My compassion is buried with my family, back in Kent,” he informed her.
She must have recognized the icy reality of this on his face. She took a step backward, away from him. The glow from the lamp hanging near the doorway spilled out into the yard where they stood. The warm light played against the heavy shadows, making her eyes seem endlessly deep and her skin endlessly tempting. Emotion only allowed her to draw short, halting breaths. Her worn gown pulled against those unignorable curves. Hellfire, why couldn’t he forget just for these moments how beautiful the girl was?
“Maybe you can’t feel compassion, but surely you can feel something,” she said, swallowed, and gave the tiniest hint of a smile. “You are, after all, a man.”
Oh, he felt something, indeed. “My feelings are hardly your concern, Miss Darshaw. Go back inside and say farewell.”

Let Your Flag Fly

2011-06-14T16:29:00.000-07:00

Today is Flag Day here in the US. I had to go online and look it up when my daughter said, "Flag Day? What's that?"

Here's what I found. In 1777, the Second Continental Congress passed a resolution adopting the flag. You know, the original Stars and Stripes with the stars in a circle instead of all jammed into off-set rows because they had a lot fewer states to recognize back then. But apparently Flag Day wasn't much of a big deal to most people.

It sounds like throughout the 1800's various towns and communities celebrated the anniversary of the flag's adoption in a variety of ways, but it sounds like it was kind of sporatic. In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson was the first one to give it national attention by signing a proclamation that officially made today, June 14, Flag Day. It wasn't until August of 1949 that politicians gave it full attention by passing an Act of Congress to establish it.

But why? What's the big deal about a flag? I thought I'd better look that up, too.
I found some conflicting stuff. I found references to stars representing the 13 original colonies, but also representing the heavens and the Divine intervention that brought our nation into being, as well as the Divine call on the people themselves to be something special. The stripes can represent rays from the sun, beaming down on the land to produce prosperity and enlightenment, or they could have something to do with the Biblical reference to Christ's "stripes", or wounds that rescue us from sin. The red could be a nod to the bloodshed of war, and probably means victory through suffering or hardship while the white is likely purity and freedom. The blue represents the heavens, and maybe justice and perseverance.

Basically, everyone has some opinion as to what the flag stands for, and it's all pretty good stuff. None of the references I found indicated that blue stood for Greed or white meant Dirty Politics while red stripes remind us of our Trillion Dollar National Debt. No, that's not why we fly our flags.

We choose to see the American flag as something better. It is a symbol of our hopes and our dreams, not our failures and our shortcomings. We proudly fly our flags in honor of great men and women who have sacrificed and done noble things, not for those who cheat and steal. The flag stands for military personnel, civilians, lawmakers, homemakers, first responders, the elderly, and school children who all do their part to uphold freedom, equality, kindness, creativity, independence, excellence, and justice for all. Yes, that should be all of us. The flag represents what all of us could be.

So, now I can explain to my daughter what Flag Day is. It is a day we honor this simple piece of fabric as a symbol for some really big ideas. Some great ideas. Sure, maybe we screw up as a nation from time to time, but it doesn't mean we quit trying. Today is a good day to forgive ourselves for past failings and let ourselves think nobler thoughts for tomorrow.

We can do better. We can be better. We can live up to this symbol, this representation of some really awesome stuff. After all, it's our symbol. We made it. It's what we truly want to be.

Golden Hearts in Bloom

2011-03-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

Ah, it's that season again. Last week RWA announced this year's crop of Golden Heart finalists. Gosh, what a flood of memories that brought back. Shall we wander down that lane again?

I almost didn't get the call telling me my manuscript (titled, at that time, MISTAKEN BY MOONLIGHT) had finaled in the 2008 Golden Heart. My family was literally walking out the door to head away for vacation. We had the suitcases loaded up, the bags of food for the long car ride packed, both kids were dragging the obligatory piles of games, stuffed animals, pillows and favorite blankies, and my husband was wrestling our two anxious dogs who were not looking forward to being dropped off at the kennel/doggy resort.

When the phone rang I stood in the doorway, debating whether to go answer it or to just let it roll over to the answering machine. After all, anyone I probably wanted to talk to already knew we were leaving town; this was most likely just a telemarketer. But by the fourth ring, my curiosity got the best of me and I put down my purse and my laptop case and the dog dishes and my husband's headache medication and ran to answer the phone.

Wow, was I glad that I did! I'm sure I was a blathering idiot. I know I said "Really?" about a hundred times. I hope I said "Thank you" at least once. I remembered feeling, in that moment, as if my life had changed.

As it turned out, I was right. From that day on it was a whirlwind of preparations to go to Nationals (my first!) and to get my manuscript ready for all the attention it was suddenly getting. I had to build a website, answer hundreds of emails, and begin to view my writing as more than just a hobby. I realized I'd somehow gotten into the big leagues and wasn't about to let this truly Golden opportunity pass me by. There would be parties and receptions and photo ops at National and I was determined not to miss any of it. I couldn't find a gown that was glitzy and glamorous enough for the big GH/RITA ceremony so I made one. There weren't enough hours in the day to meet with everyone I wanted to meet with at Nationals, so I skipped sleeping a couple days. As far as I was concerned, this was my one shot. It was terrifying, energizing, and blissful all at the same time.

That year I won the Golden Heart in my category. Two days later, I signed with a wonderful agent, and a few days after that we negotiated a two-book contract with Berkley Publishing. I guess they liked what they got because a few months later I signed another one.

I was asked to change my manuscript's title, but little else. In December, 2009, MISTRESS BY MISTAKE was released. DAMSEL IN DISGUISE followed it in the summer of 2010. My third book with Berkley, TEMPTRESS IN TRAINING, comes out this July and my fourth book is scheduled for April, 2012. Life has changed a lot since I answered that Golden Heart phone call. I'm glad our family vacation had to wait a couple minutes.

But the biggest lesson I've learned from my Golden Heart experience (and from my wonderful Pixie Chicks sisters who were also finalists that year) is that whether you final or don't, whether you take home a necklace or not, whether you sell right away or are eligible to enter again next year, life does go on after the Golden Heart. I could put my family vacation on hold for a little while to do a happy dance after that phone call, but eventually I had to come down from Cloud Nine and get in the minivan. I could go to National and dress like a princess, drink martinis and rub elbows with Who's Who, but at the end of the week I had to come home and catch up on laundry. And then, after all that, I still had to write. Even when I was tired, or uninspired, or too busy polishing my little heart-shaped necklace.

Golden Hearts and martinis with editors really and truly mean nothing unless we write. My advice to this year's finalists is to keep that in mind. Yes, by all means go to National if you can afford it. Enjoy the fun and the opportunities. Take advantage of everything you can, but don't lose sight of what's really important. Keep on living your life and being who you are and, most importantly, remember what that is. You are a Writer. And writers write.

Interview with Holly Zachariah, Part 2

2010-06-21T12:41:00.000-07:00

Back in February, 2010, I was interviewed by Holly Zachariah, journalist, blogger and romance reader. Here is another excerpt from that interview:

Holly: Why did you choose the English Regency time period for the setting of your books?

Me: The English Regency covered the years from 1810 to 1820 when the decadent Prince of Wales (who would eventually become George IV) ruled as Regent while his father, the king, was mentally ill. Lovely family. It’s the same time period we associate with Jane Austen. So think Mr. Darcy in a starched cravat—or better yet, in a wet linen shirt—and you’ve got the Regency. I’m forever fascinated by the ways of society from that time: the devastating trauma of misspeaking oneself in public, the shame of being an old maid by age 22, or being snubbed at the most influential ball of the season simply because one of your ancestors wasn’t genteel enough. With the backdrop of the Napoleonic wars, the birth of the Industrial Revolution, and clashes between the classes, it’s the perfect setting for romance.

Holly: You have a degree in theater and were a playwright. Do you still foster those loves in any way? Do you participate in community theater, for example? If so, how does that help you as a writer, if at all?

Me: I have elementary age children, so the time element hasn’t allowed for me to be as involved in community theatre as I would like. It has allowed me to be involved in children’s theatre, however, and recently I worked with a very creative group of young people writing and producing their own scripts. That was a wonderful experience.
I believe a lot of what I learned in the theatre has been a great help in my fiction writing. Primarily, I think I approach my characters the way an actor approaches a role. I don’t direct my characters; I act them in my head and then somehow translate that into prose. Every author has his or her own process, and this seems to work for me.

Holly: Ever thought of working on screenplays? What do you think would be different about those?

Me: That’s a completely foreign animal to me! The live stage is very different from the screen and books are their own industry altogether. I’d love to write a screenplay someday (I’ve got friends who do) so maybe one of these years I’ll dig into that. I need a fabulous idea first… how about big blue people on a planet with lots of trees?

Interview with Holly Zachariah, Part 1

2010-06-05T09:14:00.000-07:00

Back in February I was interviewed by journalist, blogger and romance reader Holly
Zachariah (Columbus Dispatch). She asked some really great questions so I thought it might be interesting to post some of them here:

Holly Z: Has it been hard to be a romance writer and a pastor's wife at the same time? Let's face it, some people - whether we like it or not - call romance porn.

Me: I’m very sensitive to the fact that different people have different levels of comfort regarding sensuality in fiction. I never want anyone to be shocked or offended by the hot, sexy love scenes I include in my books so I’m careful not to promote myself as “the pastor’s wife” in case someone might accidentally mistake my work for something inspirational or sweet. Which is not to imply that there is anything shameful in what I write! I think the themes of honesty, forgiveness, commitment and love that are the very backbone of any romance novel are exactly the themes we wish to promote in our faith. I’m conveying this in my voice to my audience, and other authors are using their voice with their audiences. And that’s okay.

2009-12-10T12:37:00.000-08:00

Keeping Warm Between the Covers

"Dear God, it's you!" he exclaimed.
And it was. The very woman who had disrupted his thoughts all day long was seated there on the dusty floor, a book open on her lap. She was wearing a drab gown, the color of dead moss. Still, her fawn colored hair was not tucked under a cap, but pulled up stylishly on her head. She looked prim and proper and untouchable. And with every fiber of his being he wanted to touch her.
Flustered, she slammed her book shut and sent a dust cloud into the air around her head. Another sneeze, and she struggled with her skirts as she scrambled to her feet. He chuckled at the delightful sight of one perfect ankle, but reached out a hand to help her. She did not take it.
"What are you doing here?" she asked quickly, glancing around, probably for a way to escape.
"I think I should ask you the same thing. Am I interrupting your reading hour?"
"No, I just—" she noticed the clock on the mantle. "Oh no! I had no idea it was so late!"
"Don't worry. I'll see that you don't get into any trouble."
"Oh, I doubt that," she replied. Smart girl.

That’s an excerpt from my recent Regency historical, MISTRESS BY MISTAKE. My heroine has found a book that she truly can’t quite seem to put down. (Trust me; we wouldn’t either, if we stumbled upon this little volume in our dashing host’s library.)
I love getting lost in a good book, don’t you? Especially when there’s a chance that, in my distraction, I might be found out by a smoldering-eyed lord with a penchant for seduction. Yeah, that’s my kind of reading hour!
And it’s a darn good way to keep warm as winter swings into full force here in the states. Brrr, as I type this my fingers are creaking with cold. The wind keeps knocking out my satellite connection for the internet. The dogs stand at the door with their little legs crossed saying, “No way! We are not going out in this.”
So, what to do that will get the blood flowing and pump up the heat index on a blustery day like today? Crawl inside the covers of a good book!

MISTRESS Release Day

2009-12-01T08:40:00.001-08:00

Golly, that headline sounds like I've been keeping some woman and I'm finally letting her go. That's not what I meant! But that is the theme for what I was going to write about today.

Today is the official release date for my debut Regency Historical Romance, MISTRESS BY MISTAKE. Yay! So exciting! It is also a day my husband has been seriously dreading.

You see, my husband is a good man. He's a dedicated man. He's a man of deep conviction. And he's a minister. Now, he's always been very supportive of my writing efforts but it wasn't until just recently he realized truly and intimately what exactly it is that I write. He tried to read my book.

MISTRESS BY MISTAKE is a fun, sexy romp. That's what it says right on the front cover and I assumed most people understand that means the book is, well, fun and sexy. My husband admits that he read the cover, that he’s heard me talk about the book, but he says he always thought “sexy” just meant, er, “sexy”. He honestly didn’t realize it meant “SEXy”, as in, it gets specific about who’s doing what to whom when and where. And how—I most definitely include the how.

My husband rather wishes I didn't, just on the not-so-off-chance that one of his parishioners might buy the book and also misinterpret "sexy" only to have a coronary at page three when things for my hero and heroine start to get a bit, er, "SEXy". The dear man really does care about his parishioners.

But this has been a lesson to me. Sometimes we can be so very precise in what we say or write, and yet still be misunderstood. When I wrote the title for this blog entry, I referred, of course, to the fact that today is the day my novel, MISTRESS BY MISTAKE, is released onto the shelves of a bookseller near you. I can easily see, however, that someone might read that header and assume it means something entirely different.

So, at the risk of being further misunderstood, let me sum up what I am trying to say:

I’m very excited that my brand new slightly-obscene romance novel, MISTRESS BY MISTAKE, will be available to the public today! Rush out now and buy a copy. If, however, you decide to actually read the copy, please don’t be surprised to find that it is chock full of hot sex. And a lot of really funny things happen along with all the sex, too.

I am not, however, releasing some woman that I’ve held in captivity for illicit purposes. I will, though, send a free copy of my book to some random person who finds this neglected blog and posts a comment today! Just make sure I know who you are and how to contact you.

And may you have a happy release of your own at some point today!

Love... thankfully.

2009-11-30T09:47:00.000-08:00

Wow. It’s a busy time of year, isn’t it? For those of us in the states, we’re probably still finishing up those Thanksgiving leftovers. We probably gathered with family and friends to eat, well, pretty much everything in sight and then whined about it afterward. I don’t know which is more uncomfortable, the way I’ll feel after a long day of gluttony or the way I’ll feel after several days cooped up with relatives!

Not that I don’t love each and every one of them dearly, of course. I do, I do! I’m really looking forward to spending time with all my wonderful family as we go through this holiday season. But you know sometimes love is easier when it’s at a healthy distance and not sleeping on the pull-out for days at a time.

This is why I love reading (and, of course, writing) romance. Sigh. I get such a warm, fuzzy feeling every time I get to “The End”. Good has triumphed, struggles are all in the past, and our happy couple can ride off into the sunset and make babies. Babies who won’t spit up on their beautiful clothes or interfere with their vibrant love life, of course. Any evil in-laws have been vanquished and grumpy siblings have had a change of heart. We just know all will be well for this couple and their days—and nights—will be full of harmonious bliss.

I’ve got a whole pile of this “rescue reading” set aside to get me through the holidays, as a matter of fact. I hope you do, too. We all need something to shine a light at the end of the tunnel for us because, let’s face it, as dear and special as this season is, life isn’t always full of smiling pilgrims and turkey dinner.

In the past twelve months, our family has seen two funerals, three strokes, cancer, job loss, Alzheimer’s, school troubles, a broken arm and more than one broken dream. There will definitely be a shadow hovering over this year’s feast days. But love will be there, too.

This is why we need romance. Love really does conquer all things. Our rational, grown-up brains know that the hero and heroine will eventually have to face more trials, but for that one final page of the book we can live in their moment of un-shadowed joy. We trust that after all they’ve been through so far, they will surely survive what’s to come.

And that’s just like real life. As we laugh and squabble and pass the peas, we know that love has brought the family this far and love will keep it going. Life might not be perfect, but love is. Thankfully.

First-Ever Newsletter!

2009-11-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

Hello! This is the first-ever Susan Gee Heino Newsletter. If you'd like to be added to my first-ever mailing list, just drop me a quick note at susan_gee_heino@yahoo.com and you'll get the second-ever newsletter delivered right to your inbox! Someday.

Now, keep reading for a chance at Free Stuff.

Love’s Busy Sometimes!

My Golden Heart winning debut novel, MISTRESS BY MISTAKE, comes out on December 1st! Yay, can you believe it? Finally!

It should be in bookstores everywhere, but in case you have trouble finding it, talk to your bookseller. They really do like to know what people are looking for. Or, if you don’t mind the shipping and handling, you can find it at http://www.amazon.com/ and they’ll send it right to your house. (The ISBN number is 978-0-425-23151-7 and the cover price is a doable $7.99.)

Reviews!

I won’t usually bore you with these, but since this is all new and exciting for me, I’d like to share a couple of the wonderful reviews MISTRESS BY MISTAKE has been receiving.

“Heino debuts with a delightful love-and-laughter story about an independent heiress and a dashing nobleman who discover the power of love while surrounded by mayhem and madness. I dare you not to laugh out loud!” --RT Reviews, 4 stars, HOT

“Sparkling with superbly crafted characters, humor, and deliciously sexy romance, Heino’s debut, winner of RWA’s Golden Heart award, is splendidly entertaining.” --Booklist

Booksignings

To celebrate my first-ever release (and to hawk it to the masses) I will be making a few, select public appearances. (No, not on Oprah or Leno. Sorry. It’s not that kind of book.)

Monday, Nov. 30, 5-8 pm Local Author Spotlight Booksigning Event
Marysville Public Library, 231 S. Plum Street, Marysville, OH 937-642-1876
In conjunction with Uptown Marysville’s annual Christmas Walk

Saturday, Dec. 5, 12-3 pm Multi-Author Booksigning
Barns & Noble, 9455 Civic Center Blvd., West Chester, OH 513-755-2258
“Romancing the Holidays” with 20+ bestselling romance authors

Guest Blogging

Wanna know what I’m thinking about? I’ll be visiting these popular romance and readers blogs on the following dates. Drop by and leave a comment if you can!

Tuesday, Nov. 17 RomConInc
http://www.romconinc.com/index.php/conversations/blog/5

Monday, Nov. 23 Romance Bandits
http://www.romancebandits.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, Dec. 2 Mama Writers
www.mamawriters.com/blog

Wednesday, Dec. 2 Romance in the Backseat
http://www.ritbs.blogspot.com/

Online Interview

If you still need more of me, Terry Kate with Romance in the Backseat will be posting an interview with me (from the cyber-backseat and not the real one, unfortunately) on her site Nov. 29-Dec. 1st. http://www.romanceinthebackseat.com/

More to Come

DAMSEL IN DISGUISE will be my next release, scheduled for August 2010. It follows the story of one of the characters from MISTRESS and I hope readers will be excited to find out what happens next. A “teaser” for it is included at the end of MISTRESS and I’m very eager to introduce that fun, slightly more suspenseful story.

Free Stuff!

If you email me with the correct answer to the following question before Nov. 30th, I’ll put your name in a drawing. On Monday, Nov. 30th, I’ll randomly draw a name and contact you if you win!

The Prize? A twenty-five dollar gift card to Barnes & Noble plus an autographed copy of MISTRESS BY MISTAKE.

The Question? How many stars did RT Reviews give me in their recent review?
(Hint: the answer’s right here in the newsletter somewhere!)

Happy Holidays!

If you don’t hear from me before the holidays, may they be joyful and full of fun. Until my next, second-ever newsletter, I hope your life is never too busy for love!

Love's Funny Sometimes

2009-08-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

So, I was taking a shower the other day (I do that periodically) and I had this really brilliant idea for brushing off the old, dusty, pitifully neglected blog here and making it sing. It was going to be a really great idea, something that would provide me endless blog topics and plenty of room to let my natural wit and bubbling charm flow over and out into the world. People would come flocking to my blog and would read, walking away with smiles on their faces and insight in their heart.

But then my daughter came in crying because her pet rat suddenly died and I got out of the shower amidst that chaos and was thrust into action as Brave and Stoic Mom who gives hugs, dries tears, recites platitudes, answers deep theological questions, digs holes, and pulls shoe-boxes / coffins out from under her bed just when they are all needed most.

By the time the drama was somewhat at low tide I had forgotten my brilliant, witty blog idea. Rats. Oh, sorry. That mild exclamation was probably in bad taste, given the previous paragraph.

But it has been far too long since I’ve tended the blog. Facebook and Yahoo! Groups have seen plenty of me, however. I do have intentions of resurrecting the old blogspot, though, so perhaps I will. All I have to do is remember that shower idea.

I do recall, fortunately, that it was about Love. Since I write romance novels I figured that topic was appropriate. So, I’ve updated the site to reflect my new goal of blogging about the many splendors of Love. Primarily, I’m planning to explore the particularly laughable splendors of it.

You see, I do believe that Love IS Funny Sometimes. What I need now is some examples of that. You know, some of those funny little moments where if it wasn’t for Love you’d probably pull your hair out or just go flipping crazy. In my life, it’s not really a question of thinking up examples of that but more like slogging through the veritable swamp of them and picking just one or two to highlight here.

So, that’s what I’ll be doing. At some point. Maybe. Doesn’t that sound like a brilliant idea for a blog? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

The Bride Can't Cook

2008-04-14T04:55:00.000-07:00

So, have I mentioned that I write? I do. Romance novels, mostly. I’ve titled this blog after my most recently completed manuscript, “Mistaken By Moonlight” since that’s the one that’s been getting all the attention lately. I’ve posted a blurb over there on the right side—check it out.

You’ll notice it’s set in Regency-era England. It is, and that’s my fave time period to read about. Obviously I enjoy writing about it, too.

But I’m not stuck in the past. I have also written a couple manuscripts with contemporary settings. Today I’m blogging about one of them, “The Bride Can’t Cook.”

This is the story of Marti and East, former Best-Friends-With-Benefits who must overcome Marti’s unfortunate knack for kitchen disasters to win a state-wide cook-off and save her Granny’s Diner.

Mixed in are plotlines involving Marti’s passion as an Environmental Biologist, Granny’s geriatric meddling, a married couple with a pyro-maniacal little boy, and our hero’s fried chicken phobia that would make even Colonel Sanders shudder. It’s a recipe for ruin but through it all Marti and East cook up a happy ending.

I had a lot of fun writing it. I’d spent a year writing two other historical romances that really weren’t all that great. An insightful critique partner said, “You’ve got a modern voice. You ought to try contemporary.” So I did. “The Bride Can’t Cook” was my second attempt at that. I learned some surprising things!

First off, when you’ve been writing stiff, historical language and plotlines that can involve no electricity or mass communication, the switch to modern language and familiar appliances is very freeing. Wow, I could be wittier and cleverer in my own native tongue! And it was sooo much easier to get into my character’s heads, since now I lived in the same would they did. I had a blast being back in my own lifetime and wrote two Single Title manuscripts back to back, “Thanks for the Mammaries” and then “The Bride Can’t Cook”.

But I also learned something unexpected. I thought there’d be less research writing contemporary. Heck I already know how we speak and what sort of clothes we wear. What is there to research? Ah, I learned. Writing these Contemporaries I was bound by reality. Ugh. I’ve tried so hard to avoid reality for much of my life, but now I was trying to profit from it? Not as easy as it sounds.

In both manuscripts, my heroines chose a career I was unfamiliar with so I had to hit the library and the internet, studying up to at least fake it believably. It dawned on me that what I wrote about with these Contemporaries was much more relevant to a wider range of readers. I’d really have to be accurate on the details since EVERYONE knows about modern day life, while those who might find the odd anachronism in my historicals are fewer. At least, I hope they are.

After “The Bride Can’t Cook” I returned to my first love and crafted another Regency-set Historical. It was nice to be back in that fantasy world. Sure, I had to re-learn the dialog cadence and re-remember if an Earl outranks a Marquise (he doesn’t, by the way), but it wasn’t that much of stretch.

Jumping back and forth between eras, I’ve learned one thing; people are people. The same emotions and fears that motivate my 19th century characters will just as easily motivate my modern ones. That much requires no research. In all my writing I try to convey the universal longings we all feel, the hopes and fears—and passions—that are common to everyman. Really, the only research it takes for that is living.

I’ve never been seduced by a Regency lord, but I have fallen in love in the moonlight. I’ve never been an Environmental Biologist, but I have been a bride. And I couldn’t cook, either. Some things are universal and timeless. Love and laughing are top of the list.

Who the heck am I?

2008-04-06T04:34:00.000-07:00

My mother named me Susan after the actress Susan Hayward. I always thought that was flattering until I actually grew up and caught a couple of the woman's movies. She was elegant, sophisticated, and seemed to have an unnatural talent for portreying dramatic deaths, as I recall. I understood then why I'd always had this feeling I wasn't quite what my mother had hoped for. Unlike Susan Hayward, I was boistrous, awkward, grossly naive, and had an unnatural talent for keeping frogs in the bathtub. Unauthorized frogs, I should add.

But did you know Ms. Hayward was actually born Edythe Marrener? I guess I should be thankful she chose a stage name! Then again, as I scan the Romance shelves at the bookstore, I don't see nearly as many Edythe's as I do Susan's. Or Suzanne's or Sue's or Susanna's or some other variant of the name. If Ms. Hayward had gone out into the world as Edythe, perhaps I would be Edythe today and not feel myself such a part of the crowd.

But I gave up trying to be a part of the crowd way back in high school when I realized I was still too boistrous, still too awkward, still way too naive, and still had an unnatural affinity for catching frogs. No way was I ever going to fit in with those more normal individuals around me who comprised "the Crowd".

Now it feels unnatural for me to find myself just one amongst many.

Oh, there are some great Susan's with our name plastered proudly on book spines, and maybe that's my problem. It irks me that it is their name and not mine I see on those shelves. I'm jealous, I suppose.

But I also want to be unique. I want my name to conjure all sorts of wonderful things that lead people to think of only me, not any of the other fine Susan's of the world. Perhaps young Edythe Marrener felt something like that when she adopted her new moniker. Or perhaps her studio said, "Here's your new name. Get used to it." Either way, it seemed to work for her.

So how to I transition from being Susan Number Whatever to being (insert fabulous pen name here)? First, I suppose, I need to come up with said fabulous pen name. That's the tricky part, isn't it? I've been asking around for advice and here's what I've heard:

Many authors have chosen their pen name based on some beloved nickname they have. Well, I haven't got any of those. My husband calls me Susan. My sisters call me Susan. My kids try to call me Susan and I scold them. Occassionally folks drop off the -zun part and I end up just being Sue, but that really doesn't take me very far from the trouble. I'm still in the Susan Family.

In junior high some boys in my neighborhood had a nickname for me. They called me "Raisin". I didn't like it. There used to be a commercial on TV about the raisins in a certain cereal. According to the earnest announcer, these raisins were always "plump and juicy." Hence my nickname. I wished to be neither plump nor juicy. (Remember, I was hopelessly naive and failed to recognize that those boys may possibly have not been insulting my physique quite so much as my purpose in life, but either way, it was a yucky nickname.)

Another technique authors use in seaching for a pen name is to consider family names. Their own maiden name, their mother's maiden name, Grandma's name, etc. So, I did this, too.

My maiden name is Gee. Pronounced like the letter of the alphabet. It sounds Chinese, though I'm not ethnic in any way. My mother's maiden name is Stickradt; it's prounounced like "stick-rat". Yeah, I crossed that off my list pretty quickly.

My maternal grandmother's maiden name was Deike--sounds like, er, "like." Not that there's anything wrong with it, but that's not exactly the sort of Romance I write. I'm looking for something a bit more evocative of my chosen genre.

So, I'm on the prowl to reinvent myself. Any and all suggestions are welcome. I'm hoping one day something will just leap out and grab me, sweeping me passionately into its embrace and convincing me unequivocably this is who I should be.

Until that happens, though, I'll just go on being Susan. It's a good name; a familiar name; a respectable name. But for some reason, no one expects a Susan to have a tub full of frogs in her bathroom, do they?

When the Make-Up Gets Scraped Off

2008-04-04T05:48:00.000-07:00

Well, the photo shoot was a blast. I know I'm not supposed to admit to such vanity, but come on. How can I not love being the center of attention? There were bright lights aimed on me and a man pranced around with a camera in my face saying, "Work it, baby, work it! Aw, the camera loves you, honey!" (So what if I had to pay the guy a little extra to say all that? He was fairly convincing.)

Now if I can figure out how to do it, I'll post a new photo here at this exciting blog site. I'm sure the suspense will be maddening, but try to restrain yourself.

After the hour was over and we'd filled the memory card in the camera--and the photog graciously photoshopped A LOT--it was sadly time for me to retire from Supermodel-hood. I hurried back to pick up my kids from school. The ball was over. Sigh.

The kids didn't really care how much time I spent on make-up; they were hungry. They wanted entertainment. They needed to tell me how unjustly they'd been treated all day long at that horrible institution of learning. I figured life would be easier if their mouths were full.

So, we hit MacD's and went home where I scraped off my make-up and tripped over a pile of laundry. I spent the next hour sorting underwear.

Yep, so much for Cinderella. I was back to being the ugly step-sister.

But not really. The clock might have struck twelve, but it hadn't erased my memory. I knew what I'd been up to that day.

For just a little while I was 17 again, posing for senior pictures and imagining the wonderful life ahead of me. For just a little while I was a star, strutting my own personal red carpet, beaming at an adoring public. For just a little while I was more than I usually am. And sometimes that's enough.

I don't know how long it will be enough, but for a while I'll have a little more mischeif in my smile and a little more pep in my step. I have a little more hope, too, because I've been reminded of something I must have forgotten: that big bag of make-up is still waiting there, under my sink. I can trowel it back on anytime I want.

Just because I may choose not to TODAY doesn't mean I might not choose to TOMORROW. Cinderella is still lurking there, just waiting for the next ball to come around. And it will; it always does.

ASHD--Attention Surplus Hyper-commitment Disorder

2008-04-02T05:38:00.000-07:00

Hello. My name is Susan and I suffer from ASHD--Attention Surplus Hyper-commitment Disorder. It's chronic. It's incurable. It makes you insane.

An April Fool's Joke, you might be thinking? Perhaps. Or is ASHD real, and could you yourself be a victim? You be the judge.

ASHD makes sufferers do things a normal person would have the good sense to avoid. Major symptoms of ASHD are: chronic volunteerism, over-extended calendaritis, and throat spasms that continually form the word "Yes". Worse, the disorder affects cognitive capabilities, as well. Often victims are found to have an absolute incomprehension of simple facts, such as that there are but 24 hours in a day and that most humans possess only two hands. Tragic.

For me, ASHD manifests iteself in a variety of ways. Today it's making me prepare for our first day of Drama Club rehearsals at the kids' school. I'm in charge. Of everything. I'm insane.

Fortunately, I'm not alone in my disease. Several other women I know suffer this same disorder. We're using Drama Club as our support group. Twice a week from now until the end of April we'll get together and feed our disorder, volunteering for this, spear-heading that. We'll become the virtual servants of 50 screaming children, all of whom feel their role is too small and their talent is too great. And this is not even taking into consideration the various parents of said screaming children. Indeed, we'll find all sorts of dysfuncions to cater to there!

If you have never suffered from ASHD, be thankful. Enjoy your peaceful, chaos-free life. Take the time now and again to laugh at those who do suffer. Go ahead. We won't mind.

Heck, we probably won't notice. We're too busy managing our disorder, making things happen and assuring that non-sufferers enjoy fun-filled, excitement-rich lives. I know, I know. That's very gracious of us, but that's what we do. It's part of the disorder. Don't bother to send a thank you card, though. I won't have time to open my mail until halfway through May.

Picture Day

2008-04-01T04:41:00.000-07:00

I get my head shots done today! Yes, actual professional photos for publicity purposes. Yipee!

Of course my face broke out like a teenager two days ago. But that's why God created concealer, isn't it? I'll just gob the stuff on and hope for the best.

The thing about photos is that we spend exorbitant amounts of time getting ready for them. We put on make-up, fix our hair and select an outfit that gives just the right impression, but then we complain how the picture doesn't look like us. At least that's what I plan to do. It coerces folks into responding by saying, "Oh, sure, it looks just like you!" And that will make me feel good.

I generally believe I look great. I wander through life imagining that if I ever run into Heidi Klum at Kroger or out buying sheep food, folks will just naturally mistake us for sisters. Ms. Klum being the elder, of course.

Understandably, I'm often surprised, then, when confronted by a mirror. No wonder vampires always exude such confidence! They can go around believing they look like whatever the heck they want to look like. Forever! Hmm, I think I'm beginning to see the allure of this sub-genre.

But I don't write vampire novels; I write light, humorous Regencies. (With enough sexy parts to keep them interesting, of course.) And subplots. Boy, do I love subplots!

What would life be without subplots? Dull, two-dimensional and predictable, I think. That's why photos never really capture the full essence of us.

A photograph is just a moment in time, and studio shots like I'm heading for today aren't even natural moments in time. They're fake. They're pictures of moments that never really even happened.

At best a photo is nothing more than a hint at reality. It doesn't capture the subtle shift from one thought to another, the gradual fade from smile to smirk, or the passage of time and the experience of it. Click! Whatever is right now gets digitized and preserved without any record of the context or intent. Poof! With enough concealer, a blond wig and some borrowed clothes, I could actually become Heidi Klum. (All right, I could become two of her.)

But I don't want to be Heidi Klum. Seal is hot, and all that, but I'm me and that's just going to have to be good enough. I will use plenty of concealer and pose in clothing I might not wear every day, but it's still going to be me. At least, it'll be the me who existed for just that tiny fraction of a moment when the photographer pushed the magic button.

Then I can have the rest of my life to ponder that photo and wonder who I really was.

More likely, though, I won't bother with such lofty thoughts. I'll probably be more like, "Why in God's name did I wear that? And what was up with all that concealer!"

Doing it head first!

2008-03-31T19:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm doing it. I'm blogging!

I've never blogged so naturally I'm a bit nervous. The first time's always awkward I've heard. The logistics seem a little complicated until you get the hang. But so far so good, right? I think I'm liking it. I hope it's good for you, too.

I guess the best way to do something is just to dive in and figure it out as you go along. At least, that usually seems to be the best way for me. Well, maybe it's really not the best way, but it's the way I seem to always end up doing it so I try to make the best of it. I try to find the purpose in it.

Ah, and there's a purpose to all this awkward blogging, too. The purpose is to journal. Journalling is writing. You see, I really do like to write. I write emails, I write newsletter articles, I write children's plays, and I also write romance novels. Yeah, I know! How cool is that?

I've been at it for a while so I've got a nice little collection of unpublished manuscripts. It starts to get a bit discouraging after a while, let me tell you. But last week a good thing happened.

My most recent manuscript, "Mistaken By Moonlight" finaled in RWA's Golden Heart contest in the Regency Historical category. This is a great honor and a very big deal. It's also turning out to be a very big deal of work. I wasn't expecting that. I've got this to-do list that's growing faster than the pile of laundry in my bedroom, and that's saying a lot, unfortunately.

I've got to get professional photos, I've got to make up some business cards, I've got to get a list of places to send press releases, I've got to re-polish the manuscript in case an editor actually wants to see the whole thing, and I've got to establish some sort of web-presence. Now here's where my head-first blogging comes in.

Here I am, Susan Gee Heino--Blogger. I have a web-presence. Ta da! I've titled my blog after my darling manuscript and I'm going to journal here as I go through this fun, exciting, stressful head-rush leading up to the big RWA National Conference and the grand announcement of Golden Heart winners. That's on August 2nd, so I'll be at this for a few months at least. Hopefully I'll get better at it. They say you generally do get better at it the more you do it. I'm hoping that's true.

Pop in and say hi any time you like. I'll try to say hi back!